A Man Who Was Almost a Man Sequel

Posts : 29 Join date : 2010-03-18

A Story I just finished for short story about a 17 year old fellow named Dave trying to escape his old life.

Quote :: As I hop off the train I realized that I can finally start a new life. so the first thing I do is try to find a job. so I head to the local market to see if they are hiring any box boys or something or other, but to my despair they weren't. I had to quickly think of where to go I remembered I had passed a deli so I decided to check if they needed any help. But luck was definitely not on my side for this journey. As I thought to myself I couldn't help but think that I didn't have anywhere to stay the night at. So my next goal was to find a place to stay nothing fancy of course. It was starting to get dark and I knew I had to find a place to stay and soon.
As I stumbled around the city for an hour or so. Finally I found a nice little motel, a little hole in the wall place it seemed a little creepy but I knew I needed a place to stay. I walked up to the door of the establishment and slowly opening it. As I opened the door I heard a bell ring and looked up to see a brass bell that seem to be worn down. I then proceeded to walk inside, this place reeked of cigarettes and the smell was overwhelming. I then noticed a small, old man with shit hair and what seemed to be a receding hair line sitting attentively at a desk, as if he had been waiting for anyone to walk in.
As I walked up to the desk the old man asked "may I help you sunny?" I noticed that as he pronounced sunny he whistled. For some odd reason this really bugged me.
"Yes sir," I replied softly "I'm looking for a room to stay, I don't have much but I'll gladly give you all I got."
"well how much you got sunny?" There was that damned whistle again I wish I could just rip off his tongue.
"well I have about fifty cents in my pocket, please can you help me out. I can work if need be just please help me out."
"I'm sorry sunny but I'll need more than that and I have plenty of help already ."
"Please sir I really need a place to stay, please help me out!" As I said that my hand brushed my pants and I felt my gun. I nearly forgot about it. But I had no ammo for ire, What should I do? Finally it came to me, if he said no I'd pull out the gun to intimidate him and show him who's a man and take all of his money.
"well sunny I can't help you out here, for as much as I would like to I'm quite short on money also and barely making enough money to keep this place running." As he said that I reached into my pants and pulled out my gun, reached over the desk and grab the old man by the collar and help the gun to his chin.
"fine if you won't let me stay here and help me out I'll just have to take all your money."
"please don't shoot," the scraggily old man yelled and he threw all the money from his drawer onto the counter. "It's all I got just please don't shoot!" I grabbed all the money off the counter, grabbed a handful of candy from the candy bowl and ran as fast as I could out the door.
As I got out I heard sirens so I panicked and ran and hid behind the closest trash cans. Only I noticed as the vehicle passed that it was an ambulance and not police cruiser. I was so relieved to see what it truly was, but I was still in a predicament. I still had no place to stay and now I'm a felon.
with my new found wealth I decided to find a better place to stay then a hole in the wall run down hotel. So I walked down the street to a slightly swankier hotel nothing special thought for I didn't want to burn through all my riches in one night. This time I didn't want to mess around so I was very blunt and focused in on my task at hand. I walked into the main office, asked for a room and made my way to the room. when I walked into my room I noticed the bed had a dark red comforter with what appeared to be dirt spots, black pillows, a table with four chairs surrounding it and a dirty ash tray on the table. In the corner next to the bed there was a small dresser with about three or four drawers. the room also reeked of cigarettes, this seem to be a trend with all the hotels in this town.
I really needed to get cleaned up, since I was pretty dirty from my journey, so I walked into the bathroom and I flicked on the lights and saw a cockroach scurry across the floor and into a crack in the wall. I walked over to the sink and turned on the water and washed all the dirt of my face so I didn't look like some dirty child for I was a man, living on my own, holding up old hotel owners. yup a true man.
I then walked out of the bathroom and headed over to the dresser. Hoping to find something, I searched eagerly for some clothing. but instead I found a case of what appeared to be magnum rounds. what a lucky day now if anyone actually stood up to this man he could defend his manhood. I then sat down on the bed a loaded my magnum and gently took a rag from the bathroom and wiped it down. after the task was done I tucked the gun back into my pants and pulled my shirt over it.
I started to get a little hungry so I decided to go to the vending machines and grab some snacks. so I walked out the door, walked over to the vending machine and pondered over what I should get. after a good five minutes that I should get a coke and some pretzels to hold me off till the morning when I could get a nice breakfast. When I turned around to head back to my room I noticed that a cop car was parked behind me and two cops dressed in blue were munching on some donuts while sipping coffee. I panicked and ran to my room as fast as I could and slammed the door behind me. During the commotion the gun fell out of my pants and hit the floor with a bang. Quite literally the gone had gone off as soon as it hit the floor and the bullet sped into the door right near my head.
Hoping the cops didn't hear me I leaned against the door kneeling. But reluctantly they definitely heard me because within seconds they both were pounding on my door. "Is everything alright?" asked the cop with a moustache and in his moustache resided some crumbs of the donuts. I panicked even more and grabbed for my gun. I knew I didn't have any other option than to do a preemptive strike on them.
"Yes I'm fine," I proclaimed while frantically getting up slowly.
"do you mind opening the door so we can check on things?"
"Sure just give me one moment, I need to put on some pants." They obviously knew I was lying, they had to of seen me run in here. I then pointed the gun at what I hoped to be one of the officers, slowly I opened the door and clenched the trigger. At that very moment the gun kicked back so hard it flung out of my hand and the gun then landed on the floor and went off again. but this time it had hit me right in the thigh. At that moment I let out a blood curdling scream and fell to the ground. During my descent to the carpet I noticed I had shot the mustached cop had a hole where he once had donuts crumbs.
The other officer then hoped on top of me then held a gun to my face. I now knew how the old man I robbed felt. He then grabbed my face and shoved it into the ground. I then looked up and saw that damn dirty ash tray.